Our goal is to deliver your letters to the right person at the right time

I had a medical occurrence one day and that got me thinking about death. My very next thought was about my family. There are so many things I want to tell my children but they are not old enough to understand yet. I could write letters to them, but what if they get lost or the person I entrusted them to doesn’t deliver them, or they are delivered too soon? And so ToLovedOnes was created. Our goal is to ensure delivery of your letters to your loved ones when you want them delivered. In addition to writing my children a letter for their sweet sixteen I also wanted to write them a letter for those precious life moments that don’t have a known date, such as, when one of my children has their first baby. We designed our scheduling system so that our letters would be delivered for any conceivable date or special event that we could think of. I sincerely believe that the personal care we took in solving this problem for us has the same attention to detail and care that you would take to ensure proper delivery of your letters to your loved ones.

How it works:

1: Create an account

You create your account with us. If you provide your birthdate and social security number then we can use this information to look up your passing from public records. If you don’t want to give us this information or you also want to delegate a trustee to notify us of your passing then you can provide a trustee code. You give this trustee code to your trustee who will in turn use this code to notify us of your passing.

2: Create a recipient

You create a recipient and provide contact information for this person. We will use all the contact information you provide to reach this person. You can create an optional secondary contact for this person. If we can’t reach your recipient then we will try to reach the secondary contact and ask them to provide updated contact information for the recipient so we are able to deliver the letter to them.

3: Write your letters

You write your letters to your recipient. Each letter can have its own unique delivery date.

4: We deliver your letters

If we detect your passing from public records or your trustee notifies us of your passing then we will attempt to contact you for several days to make sure it’s not an invalid response. If we don’t hear back from you then we will accept this as proof of your passing. Once the date you specified for your letter to be delivered comes around, we will send a notification to your recipient stating that you have left a letter to them. The recipient will visit our site and enter the code we sent them and then be presented with that letter. If there are additional letters for that recipient then they will receive notifications for those letters once those delivery dates comes around.

Frequently Asked Questions

We have several pricing options. The graphic below describes all of our service prices.
We have completed the certification program with the NTIS and the U.S Department of Commerce. This certification allows us access to the Social Security Offices Master Death File. Given your social security number we can lookup if you have passed away by seeing if your name and social security number exist in this file. Of course if you don't want to provide your social security number then you can create a Trustee code and give this to a trusted friend or family member who will notify us of your passing so we can deliver your letters on the schedules you have set.
Yes. When you purchase a premium subscription, it is good for 1 year. It will auto renew every year but you can change this by going to your settings and selecting one of the other subscription models. Your current premium subscription will stay in effect for the remainder of the year and then on the anniversary of your subscription your new subscription choice will take effect.
Once a letter has been purchased there are no refunds. However if you need to delete a purchased letter, please contact us and we can provide a discount for the purchase of future letters.
Once we have identified you as having died either through public records or through your trustee entering the code you gave them, we will send a daily email message to your email address for ten days. This email will indicate that you have been identified as having passed away and if this is inaccurate then please login to your account to cancel the event. If at any time during those ten days you log in then our system will mark you as still alive. If it was a trustee that activated the code you gave them, then our system will inform you of it and give you directions to change your trustee code to avoid the incident from happening again.
If you are a US citizen and have a SSN then we have a 60% chance of identifying your death through public records and a 99% accuracy.
When you create a recipient you have the option of also creating a secondary contact for this person. If we cannot reach your recipient through email or postal address then we will contact the secondary contact and ask them to update the contact information for the recipient. We never disclose your letters to anyone other than the recipient. Once the secondary contact has updated the recipients contact information then we will try again to deliver your letters to the recipient with the new contact information.
If you have any letters with a delivery date type of ‘life event’ then we will contact your recipient upon your death and ask them to fill in the date for the life event you created. The recipient will not get to see the letter until the date they enter has expired. If they don’t know the date yet, they can indicate that and the system will remind them again in one year.
We will try to reach your recipient by email first and if we get no response after several attempts then we will try by postal address if you listed one. If after several attempts we still get no response then we will try to reach the secondary contact if you provided one. The secondary contact is never given access to the letter intended for the recipient. Instead the secondary contact will be asked to provide updated contact information for the recipient so we can try to reach them again with the new contact information.
Yes. You can edit or delete a letter even after it is completed and paid for. While there are no refunds for deleted letters, you can contact us and we can provide a discount for the purchase of future letters.
If your credit card is declined while auto renewing your premium subscription then your subscription will automatically change to the free basic subscription and all your completed letters will still be delivered as you have scheduled them.